his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
