he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize