I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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