And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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