I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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