Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
