The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize