I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
