I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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