i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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