Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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