I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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