I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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