I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
