I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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