we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I need to sanitize my soul.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
