is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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