When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
