he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
