everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
