so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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