Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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