the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She bit a glass in half.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
