Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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