quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i need some magic done to my vagina
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
