either way he was missing a nipple.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
