K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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