College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We just shotgunned beers for America
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
