I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
