I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
