did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
