So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize