New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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