The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
