I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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