I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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