Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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