id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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