Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
