yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
