Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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