Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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