My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
