okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
