No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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