I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize