I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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