We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
