Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
