We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
