Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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