It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize