I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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