shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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