coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
