a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Randomize
