okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize