Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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