Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
