I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
