i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize