That's intense
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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