I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
