please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
