hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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