...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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