I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
